Category: General
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you’d be who I miss the most.
I worry at times that you don’t know how much I care for you. I know if I said that you’d promptly tell me to “shut the fuck up” in likely kinder words, so understanding, but I still worry. I’m not great at showing my feelings, especially recently. Opting for…
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Unlearn or Burn – I do not care
My intention with these words is that I can spit out some of the acid within to burn you. Fuck you, you and every iteration. I have seen your type. As you flock as if my blood is to your taste. I owe you nothing. My peace will no longer…
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More than a sorrowful soul
I have found the focus on moments to be a positive practice. Much has gone unconsidered and ignored. I hope to live a life free from these events, but I also selfishly can’t allow them to go completely untold. They need to become something. Have been for something. Some punishment.…
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In loving memory
As my cue was called, I made my way out of the pew. In a cold, nearly empty church, we’d never attended as a family. One my mother became obsessed with in her final years. I regretted wearing healed shoes as I stepped across the marble floor, the echo making…
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My final day of freedom, until death.
It had been two years. I’m uncertain that they noticed I was gone. Barely occupying the space in all those years, a whisper. I’m sure my mom did but it was always fleeting. My father and I never spoke even under the same roof, so why would he? I’m sure…
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In these paved streets.
It took time before I became angry. When I did, it fueled my escape. I planned to get out. To one day write a tell-all. To document all the mistreatment for the whole world to see. When it wasn’t for me, it was for others. I wanted to be a…
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no guilt in letting it grow
For a long time, I felt highly emotional. Not many saw that side of me; I learned to hide it, but I didn’t feel a self outside of how I was feeling. At times, still, if the emotion is too heavy, too strong of a wave, it takes me under.…
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the document of my survival.
I have vetted the chain of events in my life. Attempting to find a solution. A way to break the pattern. I don’t wish to live my life only outing to the fearful outside from the safety of my lockbox on wheels. Only doing things when accompanied. I want to…
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you will love, and I will live
When anger returns, I often think of you. You are the one thing I am still angry at myself for. So much happened to me—so much harm, so much pain—but you took much of the buildup. I regret that day. I was never mad at you. You were not at…
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more than that.
Recently, I’ve been feeling differently. I’ve grown so familiar with these stages. And this one always comforts me. When I feel angry. I never used to get angry; it was as if I was uncapable for so long. So it matters all the more. After an event, I’m swallowed by…