I’m trying to be considerate of myself. I may feel better, but I am not my mind alone. I’ve never been considerate of my body. That my body is also me, not simply something I occupy, and it needs to heal as well. It’s been exhausting; I’ve been exhausted. But I know this is part of the process. I must be kind, and give myself the time I need. If I am exhausted, that is alright. But I’ve now become more mindful of my days. Of how many I’ve lost, and how I don’t want to lose anymore. I can be cruel to myself. Never allowing myself to feel that I have done enough. Never a worthy enough day. It’s not fair; it’s not kind. But finding the line between the right amount of kindness and the right amount of push is difficult. I’d like someone to tell me when I’m doing it right. Some guidance on when to take time and when to push harder, but I’m the only person who knows my limits. It’s hard to do it alone. Maybe not for others; for some, it seems simple. But for me, it is an unknown. Care of myself not inherent. I recognize that it likely isn’t possible to do it all. To take care of myself, my health, and my obligations. But many seem to do it just fine. I want to be able to do it just fine. To find an equilibrium of care and progress.